Tips for Working Adults (From Someone Still Figuring It Out)
I’ve been working for over seven years, 85 months this January, to be exact, and somehow, I still feel like I’m learning how to work. Not the technical parts, but the harder things: work–life balance, negotiating compensation, protecting my energy, and most importantly, cultivating the right mindset.
For a long time, I believed that if I worked hard enough, stayed late enough, and cared deeply enough, it would naturally translate into appreciation and growth. The people-pleaser in me went above and beyond at every opportunity. And yet, I often found myself exhausted, unrecognised, and quietly disappointed.
In hindsight, perhaps I was looking for validation in the wrong place. Work can be a dry well if you keep drawing from it emotionally. While recognition and promotions do matter (yes, impressing your boss is still important), I’ve learned that your job should not become your identity. The only person you truly need to impress, at the end of the day, is yourself.
So I’m writing this as:
- a reminder to myself,
- a note to anyone feeling burnt out or disillusioned at work,
- and a gentle guide to staying sane as a working adult.
Here are my hard-earned lessons for us, the salaried workers.
1. Anchor Your Purpose to a Mission, Not People
Don’t anchor your sense of worth to colleagues, managers, or workplace validation. People change. Teams restructure. Companies move on.
Instead, anchor yourself to a mission:
- Are you here to learn?
- Are you here to earn?
- Or ideally, both?
Every role should add something to your career portfolio: skills, experience, perspective, or financial stability. If a job is doing neither, that’s information. And once you have clarity, you’ll know what to do next.
Purpose lasts longer than praise.
2. Listen to Your Body (Before It Forces You To)
Your body keeps score even when your calendar doesn’t.
I once pushed myself so hard that I developed insomnia from stress. That experience taught me something humbling: perfectionism is not a badge of honour. It’s often just exhaustion in disguise.
Learn to recognise the signs:
- chronic fatigue
- irritability
- anxiety that follows you home
- sleep that never feels restful
Replace perfectionism with realistic, best-effort goals. Sustainable progress beats short bursts of burnout every time.
3. Have a Life Outside of Work
Do not make your job your entire world because if that world collapses, you’ll feel completely untethered.
I used to work through weekends, check emails during meals, and mentally rehearse work conversations even while spending time with loved ones. Then I got COVID and was quarantined alone. And it hit me: I didn’t know what to do with myself.
That was my wake-up call.
Slowly, I returned to my hobbies: writing, reading, gaming. Things that reminded me who I was outside of productivity. You are allowed to enjoy things that don’t monetise you or advance your career.
Your job is something you do. It is not who you are. It’s alright to take a break.
4. Build Boundaries (This Is Non-Negotiable)
This might be the most important lesson of all.
Learn to say no. Learn to pause before automatically saying yes. Know when you can give more and when you absolutely can’t.
You only get one life. It’s okay if you don’t want to spend all of it climbing the corporate ladder. I have deep respect for people who do but ambition looks different for everyone.
Ask yourself:
- What actually aligns with me?
- What fulfils me?
- What am I bending myself for, and why?
Don’t contort yourself to chase goals you don’t even want, or sacrifices that won’t serve you in the long run.
5. Love Yourself (Even When Work Feels Hard)
Celebrate your small wins. Speak to yourself the way you would to a friend. Replace harsh self-talk with kind but honest reinforcement.
You are resilient. You’ve survived difficult seasons before and you will again. Many things at work are outside your control: decisions, politics, timing. Focus on what is within your control: your effort, your boundaries, your growth, your self-respect.
Loving yourself isn’t indulgent. It’s necessary. So what can you do now? Learn to love yourself.
Life is more than a job.
“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” – Marcus Aurelius
Let’s learn together: Take a step back. Pause. Breathe. And remember to stop and smell the roses. The world is your oyster.
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